The Social Network

For 2 hours
on Saturday night,
I felt like I was back in college.

As I watched the movie, "The Social Network," it was so easy to slip into the scenes with the characters, and feel like I was there, living the story alongside them.

Besides being in college at about the same time as the characters, you wouldn't think we have much in common...

• I wasn't a computer hacker or a technology junkie who spent long nights in front of the screen. 

• I didn't belong to a fraternity, or an elite club, or a secret society. (I was in a sorority however, and even though I was a lackluster member at times, I saw my fair share of Greek nonsense, and normal college party nonsense in general - maybe that's why I was a lackluster member. And in fact I still see the nonsense oftentimes, seeing as how I still live in my college town.)

• I didn't attend Harvard or any Ivy-League or private school. 

 But...

The girls I saw depicted in the show were the same as so many I saw here at college. Lonely, desperate for approval, willing to deal themselves out like candy or drugs to sedate a partner who cares less about them than what they can offer in the moment.

I remember late nights with friends and acquaintances, not coding the infrastructure for the next hot web craze, but witnessing the same demons that coaxed it into existence...

Too much time on our hands. 
I know. Nobody will admit to it in college. Because if you ask them how they are doing, or what they are up to, "Tired," and "Busy," will be their responses. We stayed up late solving the problems of the world, chatting on IM with our friends down the hall, and downloading music, and walked around like zombies during the day. During all my schooling before college, I was much more productively busy - probably even a little too busy. But an abundance of free time in college meant that it became filled with meaningless crap that made me "feel busy." My husband swears I refused a date with him because I was "washing my hair." (Of course that's not true, but I'm sure I had a really great excuse.)

Too shut in.
What? How can this be? College is all about freedom! 
I remember sitting in my freshman dorm room, staring at my roommate's gecko that lived in a cage on top of our microwave (yeah), and feeling like I could relate to him. Living devoid of the rhythms of real life can take it's toll, even without us knowing. No bills to pay (not many at least), No meals to cook (unless I wanted Ramen instead of the fifty gourmet dining hall options), No bathroom to clean, really no chores at all (besides that pesky laundry that you throw in one giant load once a month), I start filling my time with other nonsense (like mentioned above). Despite the appearance of wildness, craziness, college is quite a controlled environment.
I think I went 3 years without ever seeing a child.
I exaggerate...
...but seriously, what a normal day consists of with all it's distractions, interruptions, breakdowns, and mishaps, can much of time, be strategically avoided on the college campus.

Too much introspection.  
First Sociology 101, then Psychology, then Social Psychology... Philosophy... and soon the world unravels into a bowl of noodles. Up becomes down, right could be left, even if it's still right, and backward and forward meet somewhere in the middle.
It's like...
The world is my Wii and I alone hold the nunchuk.
Literally...
Because I completely don't get video games...
but I'm left in charge of the whole thing.
It's like a dream I had once where I was driving a huge van, and I was doing it from the back row, I could barely see the windshield, and felt totally out of control.
And so is college, that after a few semesters of heavy introspection, I no longer know who I am or what I stand for, just that I need to be thriving, or creating, or doing something cool and worthy of the attention of my peers.


Too much emphasis on "finding my place."
This is similar to the introspection, but also adds the ever coveted, ever illusive dimension of "being happy." This is the idea that my happiness and fitting in is a most important thing. Mom and dad worry when they call and find me watching a movie alone in my dorm room on Saturday night. But when I'm out of commission until 2 p.m. Saturday because I drank too much jungle juice and was left at a frat house by a "friend," who found a ride "home" to another one, the same parents think, "Well, at least she's adjusting socially." This is not a real occurrence, but I've seen a hundred like it, and two hundred worse.

What I'm saying is that (according to the movie - and numerous articles about the real birth of Facebook I admit to reading) the guys who made Facebook, and most everybody I walked around campus with, have these things in common. I'm not saying it's bad that they did it. Obviously it was an amazing idea that had a useful enough place in our society that 500 million people use it semi-regularly, myself included.

I just find it very interesting to see how some of the most prevalent and integral parts of our daily lives in this society came to be.

I'm not one to say I rely on media. My husband can even testify to the fact I'm always joking about wanting to live a "wire less" existence, not as in more wi-fi, but as in, no electronics. Last week we spent a day "fasting," with some of the church, from electronics, and I'm embarrassed to say that it was quite difficult. One of the hardest times was when I was cooking dinner. Food was in the oven and on the stove, and all that was left to do was wait, and my natural inclination was to go look at blogs, check my email, or of course, Facebook. I couldn't do any of those things and I had the teeny-tiniest moment of panic. What do I do with the next 30 minutes to unwind?

I admit, I think we went to bed at about 9 o'clock that night!

Again, I have nothing against Facebook. To some degree, it's driven by relationships, which is a good thing. "People want to go on the Internet and check out their friends, so why not build a website that offers that," Facebook creator's character is quoted saying in the movie.

But he goes on to say, "I'm talking about taking the entire social experience of college, and putting it online." Of course now, Facebook has expanded way beyond college students, offering membership to anyone with an email account, so anyone in any social group in society, anywhere in the world can be on. But the fact remains that Facebook wasn't birthed out of just any experience, it was birthed out of the college experience, namely the Facebook creator's college experience and his desire to make something, out of himself (literally and figuratively.)

And at all costs - something cool.

And so I'm wondering...just...wondering...

How many of us now strive to maintain a Facebook or blog persona that is cooler, fits in more, is flashier, sweeter, friendlier, funnier, cuter, more outgoing, encouraging, and holier than the person on the other side of the screen?

You don't have to tell me. I'll never know. I'll just keep admiring you from afar. :-)